People say that flyering is the single most important thing in Edinburgh in terms of getting people to come to your shows. But really, getting famous works far better. In the absence of getting famous, however, flyering becomes quite important.

But flyering can be difficult. Especially in Edinburgh, where people grow to hate people constantly grabbing at them, yelping at them and covering their garments and exposed body areas with paper cuts from unsafely proffered flyers. This creates a public which can be nasty to an eager offerer of show. And that’s on top of the many passersby who were already loathsome.

My response to this, generally, is to tell the reluctant not-yet-punters they are idiots who are depriving themselves of the opportunity to see something wonderful and whose personal flaws will doom them in everything they do. I have been known to show up at the venue thereafter to find no one waiting and no show to do. Probably the newly educated members of my public will not be there until the morrow. Just as well, as the joust has left me in no mood to jest.

Mindful of the public’s flaws and my need to preserve a positive, if false, impression of them in order to entertain them, I have, as have wise others, HIRED flyerers. Or had others hire them for me.

This works far better than the DIY approach, as, for instance, the time I had the reviewer coming from the BIGGEST PAPER IN SCOTLAND (I withhold its name as I don’t want to give it publicity). I arrived at the theatre after some days of well-garnered punts to find four teenage hecklers. And the reviewer.

Seems the team leader had fired his, er, MY, flyerers that day.



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